stay thirsty my friend...

i had a pretty interesting conversation with my father today. Right before we worked out I asked him, "when does someone's business become your business?"

For instance, if you know someone who's going through shit or know that the person is going to walking towards a deep hole, do you tell him/her?

To sum it up, here's what he said:

1. If that person is just an acquaintance, then no. This isn't your life and it isn't your business.
2. If someone asks you for your advice about the situation, you just give your honest opinion. Don't initiate contact and bring it up first
3. You only and initiate contact and bring the problem up if that person is a good friend. Just give him/her your advice and don't feel that you have the right to make that final decision. In the end it's your friend's decision to make, but he/she made it knowing both sides of the story.

Sounds simple enough.

So after having that short discussion, we worked out a little bit. When we had a water break, i was pouring him water and he said with a smile on his face, "stay thirsty my friend." I thought "did he mean to be thirsty for knowledge or did he literally mean it?" That phrase sounded so familiar.

It turned out he was referring to this commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC9mqbImrC8

"It's so stupid," my dad says hahahahah.

Later on I wanted to clarify about my experience with the spirits. I asked him if the spiritualist made the comment (about how the Native American spirits didn't like the fire over their heads) AFTER or BEFORE the fire. My dad said before. So we talked about it some more and then he asked me:

"Did you tell this to any of your friends?"

I told him I did and then he gave out a slight chuckle.

He explained to me how that spiritual story was a personal one. Not many people know it. The only people that do know it are the ones that were involved and some of my friends. He went on explaining how people might use it against you. He added how everyone has their own secrets and not even his best friend knows everything about him. So i asked if my mom does and he said she's an exception. She's my wife.

Anyway, I thought to myself, "how in the world can someone use this story against me?"

He explained to me that by telling people my story, i'm leaving myself vulnerable. People who know this story can make fun me in front of other people by telling them that I was possessed before. Then i thought back about the dinner i had the other night with my friends. One of them said something along the lines of "e-mailing $200 bucks to get rid of my guilt." I thought "fuck, it just happened to me last night!"

Did it feel good hearing that comment? Nope. Do I poke fun at other people's past sometimes? I do.

(Kwok, Vanessa, Raymond, Preeti, Tommy, Kun, and everyone else, I'm sorry for ever making fun of your past. It won't happen again.)

I've decided not to make fun of people about their pasts. It's fucked up to joke about something ( usually negative) that happened to a person. It just discourages that person from opening up again because he/she will fear that you'll just make fun of him/her in the future.

So if you make fun of me about my spirit story, fuck you.

leap of faith

the title reflects how awesome i thought "inception" was. even though there wasn't much character development, the movie did invoke some strong emotion.

anyway, i choose this title because i'm going to talk about religion. It's going to be a long post...

so this past Sunday i decided to go back to church and listen to the sermon. The speaker talked about how a person who lives solely on faith cannot be saved. In order for a person to be truly be saved, he must accompany his faith with good deeds. Here's what the bible says about it:

James 2:14 - 2:17 - "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, i wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."

If you don't get it, think about the saying "actions speak louder than words." You have to back up your beliefs with actions.

Okay, I understand that faith alone is not enough to be saved. You must accompany it with good deeds.

But what happens if we switch things up a bit? What if you do good deeds, but you don't have faith? What happens then? Do all the good people who don't believe in God suffer? (This is why I don't particularly enjoy going to church because their sermons, messages, lessons, etc. are catered to those who BELIEVE and find meaning in the passages. I don't. The speaker goes on saying things like "the path to salvation is through Jesus Christ." That statement itself is very hard for me to swallow and I'm not going to. I'll talk about this later on)

So the speaker talks about how showing love to others is very important. He asks the parents in the room a question, "What would you rather have happen? Have someone do something nice for you or have something nice done for your children? Be honest. Which one would you prefer?" A few seconds later i hear some parents softly say "kids." Then the speaker goes and says "see? That proves my point."

The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear this question is the absurdity of it! Come on, Mr. Pang (that's the speaker's name). Do you really expect people to answer truthfully?! These parents are in a church, a quiet place where people can HEAR the faintest whisper. Don't you think that these parents aren't pressured to say "kids?"

At the end of the sermon, Mr. Pang called up a girl to come up and share her testimony with us. Her name was Tiffany Chan. I think she's around 13-17 years old, I'm not too sure. So she tells us her story about how she believed in God/Jesus for the wrong reasons (to avoid going to hell). She described that mentality as selfish. Then she tells us her volunteer experience for the "Jesus Loves Chinatown" campaign. It's where Chinese Christians go around Chinatown telling the good word (Jesus and salvation) and evangelize. At one point she said something along these lines, "The fact that God sent down his one and only son to Earth for our sake and died on the cross is amazing. It's mind blowing how much God loves us so much." She explained how excited and enthusiastic she was during the "Jesus Loves Chinatown" campaign. Tiffany even talked to one of her friends and the friend accepted Christ. "Praise God."

Just thinking about Tiffany's experience gives me such an uneasy feeling. I really don't understand how someone can believe that God exists. They don't provide any tangible evidence, they just BELIEVE. They just believed that God sent his one and only son to die on the cross. How in the WORLD can someone believe in something they never SAW before? How did that young girl like Tiffany take a leap of faith and decided on one day that God and Jesus EXIST.

In order for me to fully believe in God, I need hardcore proof. I know 1 + 1 = 2 because i can envision it. I can see it. I can apply it. I can understand it. Now for religion, there's nothing i can see about it. There's nothing i can feel about it. There's nothing TANGIBLE about it. That's why it's so hard for me to believe! I can't believe in something where its existence cannot be PROVED! Sin is just an IDEA. Salvation is just an IDEA. Ideas are NOT TANGIBLE.

Is it just me or am I being a bit too cynical? Am I putting my defenses way to high up? Am I so blind that I don't see the existence of God and Jesus in my face?

Whenever someone tells me an answer, I just have another question. It's a never ending vicious cycle.

I don't think i believe in God/Jesus with all my heart and soul (if i have one).

this guy....

there's this one guy who i don't see often anymore. he's a pretty good guy, BUT (yes, this word completely destroys the ONLY positive comment about this person in this blog post >=] ) this guy likes to make my life a little miserable sometimes.

do i mind? no, because i know what he's saying about me isn't true.

BUT (there's that word again!), i do mind when people start BELIEVING what he says! After he makes a little comment "blaming" me of doing something, everyone just looks at me and, for a second, believes in what he says!

This guy's definitely destroying my "face" yo!

Don't worry, this guy doesn't piss me off, BBBBUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...i'll leave it as that. it'll take another 2-3 blog posts to finish that thought hahahaha.