pizza and honesty

Every Saturday my father, brother, and i would visit my grandmother (father's side) and we would always get a pizza pie from Vic's Pizza (http://www.yelp.com/biz/vics-pizza-new-york). It's been something we've been doing for several years now.

today we didn't get the usual pie because my brother already had lunch, so i decided to get 4 slices for my father and myself. Victor (the owner) looked very busy so he asked his assistant (i think it's his son. he might be around 15 years old) to put 4 slices in a box and charge me the money. I gave him a $20 and i got back $14.25 and went out.

When i got to my grandmother's home, i took the change out and counted it again. If you do the math, I was charged for around $1.40 a slice. I remembered clearly that they charge $2.25 a slice. I was supposed to get back $11 instead of $14.25.

So I told my dad this and he asked me if i should give some of the money back to them. I said "i don't know, should i?"

He said that i should because it's honesty.

Then he said if you should give back money that isn't rightfully yours, but if it is then hold onto it and fight for it! haha

After leaving my grandma's, I had to get my mom a slice because she said she wanted one. So i went back to Vic's and asked him how much does it cost for 1 slice. he said $2.25. I then explained to him how his assistant might have under charged me. I gave him back the change and told him to charge me as if i gave him $20 bucks and ordered 5 slices. When i got back the correct change and he gave me pizza, he said "Thank you."

It was one of those very genuine "thank you"s. After hearing those words and seeing the expression on his face, i felt good for doing the right thing. I wish i could explain what i felt in detail, but all i can say is that the feeling of doing a good deed is a reward in itself.

Back in senior year of high school, we had to share the gym with a freshman class. There was one freshman in particular that caught my attention. Let’s just say I didn’t like him very much

He would be the guy on the treadmill running at the highest speed for 10 seconds and stop, acting tough by jumping up on the pull up bar and just struggle to do one. I really didn’t like his guts. You know how I don’t like show offs. I despise them with a PASSION.

One day the two gym teachers decided to have a dodge ball match between the seniors and the freshmen. I was so pumped up, so was that freshman. He would get down and do ONE SINGLE push up, get back up, and talked a little smack.

When we actually played the game, I was really surprised. Some of those freshmen really knew how to throw the ball! It was a close game, but we turned out to be the victor.

In my class there were this bunch of “chiggas” (a combination of “Chinese” and “Nigga”) who apparently didn’t like that cocky freshman either. At one point in the game, one of the chiggas got frustrated and tried to jump that freshman.

After the game the senior class got lectured by the two gym teachers. A couple days later that freshman was jumped by several chiggas and they were suspended.

*Sigh, the stupid things people do just to act tough.

i love you...

…but I really don’t mean it

I feel really uneasy when I hear people say the word “love.” I was at a social gathering a couple weeks ago and I’m listening to two people talking to each other. At one point one person cracks a joke and the other laughs and says “ha ha ha, oh you’re so funny. I love you!”

Wtf

It just bothers me that you KNOW that the person doesn’t really mean it. Sometimes it just frustrates me when I over hear people say “aw, you know I love you” in a cute, apologetic tone. If you really “love” that person, you would’ve taken steps so that you won’t be in a position where you have to apologize in the first place so stfu and don’t use the word “love.”

Do I use the word love? Yea, I say things like “I love food” or “I love working out” because I really do. But I rarely say the words “I love you” to someone. The only time I remember using the word “love” a lot was when I was with my ex. Other than that, I rarely used the word at all.

I think it’s a cultural thing. I never hear my parents use the word “love” to each other. No one in my family uses it because we don’t HAVE TO. We speak through our actions.

I just don’t understand why Americans feel the need to use the word “love” all over the place. That specific instance pisses me off. How the heck do you automatically love someone just because you love their jokes? You don’t so DON’T USE IT.

Sacrificing and being there for others when they’re in need, without expecting anything in return, is love.

stay thirsty my friend...

i had a pretty interesting conversation with my father today. Right before we worked out I asked him, "when does someone's business become your business?"

For instance, if you know someone who's going through shit or know that the person is going to walking towards a deep hole, do you tell him/her?

To sum it up, here's what he said:

1. If that person is just an acquaintance, then no. This isn't your life and it isn't your business.
2. If someone asks you for your advice about the situation, you just give your honest opinion. Don't initiate contact and bring it up first
3. You only and initiate contact and bring the problem up if that person is a good friend. Just give him/her your advice and don't feel that you have the right to make that final decision. In the end it's your friend's decision to make, but he/she made it knowing both sides of the story.

Sounds simple enough.

So after having that short discussion, we worked out a little bit. When we had a water break, i was pouring him water and he said with a smile on his face, "stay thirsty my friend." I thought "did he mean to be thirsty for knowledge or did he literally mean it?" That phrase sounded so familiar.

It turned out he was referring to this commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC9mqbImrC8

"It's so stupid," my dad says hahahahah.

Later on I wanted to clarify about my experience with the spirits. I asked him if the spiritualist made the comment (about how the Native American spirits didn't like the fire over their heads) AFTER or BEFORE the fire. My dad said before. So we talked about it some more and then he asked me:

"Did you tell this to any of your friends?"

I told him I did and then he gave out a slight chuckle.

He explained to me how that spiritual story was a personal one. Not many people know it. The only people that do know it are the ones that were involved and some of my friends. He went on explaining how people might use it against you. He added how everyone has their own secrets and not even his best friend knows everything about him. So i asked if my mom does and he said she's an exception. She's my wife.

Anyway, I thought to myself, "how in the world can someone use this story against me?"

He explained to me that by telling people my story, i'm leaving myself vulnerable. People who know this story can make fun me in front of other people by telling them that I was possessed before. Then i thought back about the dinner i had the other night with my friends. One of them said something along the lines of "e-mailing $200 bucks to get rid of my guilt." I thought "fuck, it just happened to me last night!"

Did it feel good hearing that comment? Nope. Do I poke fun at other people's past sometimes? I do.

(Kwok, Vanessa, Raymond, Preeti, Tommy, Kun, and everyone else, I'm sorry for ever making fun of your past. It won't happen again.)

I've decided not to make fun of people about their pasts. It's fucked up to joke about something ( usually negative) that happened to a person. It just discourages that person from opening up again because he/she will fear that you'll just make fun of him/her in the future.

So if you make fun of me about my spirit story, fuck you.

leap of faith

the title reflects how awesome i thought "inception" was. even though there wasn't much character development, the movie did invoke some strong emotion.

anyway, i choose this title because i'm going to talk about religion. It's going to be a long post...

so this past Sunday i decided to go back to church and listen to the sermon. The speaker talked about how a person who lives solely on faith cannot be saved. In order for a person to be truly be saved, he must accompany his faith with good deeds. Here's what the bible says about it:

James 2:14 - 2:17 - "What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, i wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."

If you don't get it, think about the saying "actions speak louder than words." You have to back up your beliefs with actions.

Okay, I understand that faith alone is not enough to be saved. You must accompany it with good deeds.

But what happens if we switch things up a bit? What if you do good deeds, but you don't have faith? What happens then? Do all the good people who don't believe in God suffer? (This is why I don't particularly enjoy going to church because their sermons, messages, lessons, etc. are catered to those who BELIEVE and find meaning in the passages. I don't. The speaker goes on saying things like "the path to salvation is through Jesus Christ." That statement itself is very hard for me to swallow and I'm not going to. I'll talk about this later on)

So the speaker talks about how showing love to others is very important. He asks the parents in the room a question, "What would you rather have happen? Have someone do something nice for you or have something nice done for your children? Be honest. Which one would you prefer?" A few seconds later i hear some parents softly say "kids." Then the speaker goes and says "see? That proves my point."

The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear this question is the absurdity of it! Come on, Mr. Pang (that's the speaker's name). Do you really expect people to answer truthfully?! These parents are in a church, a quiet place where people can HEAR the faintest whisper. Don't you think that these parents aren't pressured to say "kids?"

At the end of the sermon, Mr. Pang called up a girl to come up and share her testimony with us. Her name was Tiffany Chan. I think she's around 13-17 years old, I'm not too sure. So she tells us her story about how she believed in God/Jesus for the wrong reasons (to avoid going to hell). She described that mentality as selfish. Then she tells us her volunteer experience for the "Jesus Loves Chinatown" campaign. It's where Chinese Christians go around Chinatown telling the good word (Jesus and salvation) and evangelize. At one point she said something along these lines, "The fact that God sent down his one and only son to Earth for our sake and died on the cross is amazing. It's mind blowing how much God loves us so much." She explained how excited and enthusiastic she was during the "Jesus Loves Chinatown" campaign. Tiffany even talked to one of her friends and the friend accepted Christ. "Praise God."

Just thinking about Tiffany's experience gives me such an uneasy feeling. I really don't understand how someone can believe that God exists. They don't provide any tangible evidence, they just BELIEVE. They just believed that God sent his one and only son to die on the cross. How in the WORLD can someone believe in something they never SAW before? How did that young girl like Tiffany take a leap of faith and decided on one day that God and Jesus EXIST.

In order for me to fully believe in God, I need hardcore proof. I know 1 + 1 = 2 because i can envision it. I can see it. I can apply it. I can understand it. Now for religion, there's nothing i can see about it. There's nothing i can feel about it. There's nothing TANGIBLE about it. That's why it's so hard for me to believe! I can't believe in something where its existence cannot be PROVED! Sin is just an IDEA. Salvation is just an IDEA. Ideas are NOT TANGIBLE.

Is it just me or am I being a bit too cynical? Am I putting my defenses way to high up? Am I so blind that I don't see the existence of God and Jesus in my face?

Whenever someone tells me an answer, I just have another question. It's a never ending vicious cycle.

I don't think i believe in God/Jesus with all my heart and soul (if i have one).

this guy....

there's this one guy who i don't see often anymore. he's a pretty good guy, BUT (yes, this word completely destroys the ONLY positive comment about this person in this blog post >=] ) this guy likes to make my life a little miserable sometimes.

do i mind? no, because i know what he's saying about me isn't true.

BUT (there's that word again!), i do mind when people start BELIEVING what he says! After he makes a little comment "blaming" me of doing something, everyone just looks at me and, for a second, believes in what he says!

This guy's definitely destroying my "face" yo!

Don't worry, this guy doesn't piss me off, BBBBUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...i'll leave it as that. it'll take another 2-3 blog posts to finish that thought hahahaha.

friends

this short film illustrates what a true friend should be: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV7HO9FazkI

tomorrow i have to eat lunch with someone who i feel needs a friend. I do'nt talk to him often and i honestly don't want to hang out with him, but i talked to my mom and the message i got was "if he's a good person, you don't have anything to lose." that's completely true. however, if he starts getting clingly, then i'd have to cut the friendship off.

i'm just glad i have good friends who would be there for me in times of hardship.

Ryan Star's Just Breathe = RETARDED

singing about the economic crisis isn't going to make things better.

i'd really make a bad politician

maybe i'm over thinking things, but what would you choose considering the following:

Choice A

• Do what's logical and right
  
• Take the chance that someone might misinterpret your actions and taint that friendship

Choice B

• Don't do what's logical and right
• Preserve that friendship

I choose choice A, but am i wrong? Is it my fault that this person looked at things differently? The intentions are what makes it count doesn't it? But then again, i realized that intentions don't mean everything.

What it comes down to are the actions and they speak louder than words, but what can I do?

Don't forget, life's pretty simple. Not everyone's out to go against you. Not everyone's as malicious as you think. Take a step back and analyze the situation.

Instead of talking about this, i'm going to just keep it to myself and stfu.

Do I feel guilty for choosing choice A? Yes.

Would I be restless if I choose choice B? Yes.

Lose-lose situation.

I just want to get this over with.

"When Chuck Norris' shit hits the fan, the fan BREAKS"

I doubt anyone's going to read it, but the possibility that someone would (especially if it's someone i know) excites me.

in these past two weeks i realized that i'd be a horrible politician, mainly because i'm a terrible communicator. It seems like I fail to completely understand what the other person is saying and i relay the misinterpreted information to someone else.

I'm so used to living the simple life, but once the shit hits the fan, i either panic or act like everything's normal. I learned that this just puts more shit in the fan. I'm saying this because of this summer doesn't feel like summer now. Things just aren't the same.

I think this is just a phase (hopefully) and things will get back to normal once things settle down.

I can't wait until "true" summer begins.

asshole

i should be studying now, but i'm going to let my good old friend procrastination take over for a couple minutes.

I have to admit, I'm pretty much an asshole when it comes to judging others. I find people very annoying in the following situations:

1. Intentionally change the focal point of the conversation onto themselves - Let's say I'm talking about how I spend $89 a month for transportation. Then one person talks about how she gets driven everywhere by her parents for free. That's the best hypothetical example i can think of now
   
2. People who want attention - I was hanging out with a group of friends and some of them ordered soup. A couple minutes later, one girl lifts open her soup cup and shows it to everyone. After proudly showing everyone her empty soup cup she then says, "look guys, I finished my soup!" I was thinking to myself "you've got to be kidding me. No one ASKED you if you finished your damn soup. Do you want a freaking cookie?"
3. Act haughty - I was heading to class with one of my classmates and when we got to the door, we saw that the janitor was in front of it, blocking the entrance, because he was taking out the garbage. Then my classmate throws up one of her arms and says in a haughty tone, "excuse me, but I have to go to class." The janitor looks at her in disgust and takes out the garbage. It wasn't like she was late to class or anything. She could have just waited for a couple seconds, not said a word, and got to class just fine. That comment was totally unnecessary and it wouldn't change a thing.
4. Show off - No one gives a damn. It just makes me want to punch you in the face.
   

These are just the main things that tick me off. I've been thinking about this and it really isn't their fault for acting this way. Maybe it's just the way they are and I can't hate them for that.

Then again, we have the freedom to choose our friends.

i like it

i can't stop the song "i like it" by enrique iglesias. it has such a nice beat to it, but the lyrics are terrible. here's the first part of the song:

"Girl please excuse me
If I'm coming too strong
But tonight is the night
We can really let go
My girlfriend is out of town
And I'm all alone
Your boyfriend is on vacation
And he doesn't have to know"

and he's singing about cheating and MAKING MONEY off of it! this guy should get a STD.

on a side note, I remember in middle school, one of the guys wanted to get that song, "Hero." I thought he wanted meant Enrique's single "Hero" (my brother bought Enrique's CD lol). It took me a couple days to realize that he meant Nickelback's "Hero."

they used the meaning of my name as the default blog web address. cute.

what a great default title, "Live it."

There's only a couple days left before we complete our 4 years of college, step on the podium, and receive our blank diplomas. Damn, what an anti-climactic ending. I can't believe we actually have to go BACK to school to pick up our REAL diplomas.

This post is kind of dedicated to Raymond Chen, but not really. I just don't want to feed his ego :P

Sure, our college days are numbered and we may have some regrets, but i think these regrets involve being reckless in one way or another. Maybe we wished we could've come in drunk in class, ask the cute guy/girl out, punched someone in the face, streaked in the gym during relay for life in boxers, and all that crazy stuff. We had four years to do whatever we want without facing heavy consequences.

But guess what? Our time is up.

We're just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. Still feeling regretful about the college experience? Do something about it. Do all the things you've always wanted to do before you start working full time.

Ever wondered how it'll be like to jump from a plane 2 miles up in the air? Grow some balls and and go sky diving!

Never been to a place where the water's actually blue and clear? Book a plane ticket!

If you're ever feeling regretful, take a step back and count your blessings.